Recognizing When Ageing Parents Need Help: Key Signs and How to Offer Support

As our parents age, we want to ensure they’re living their best lives, feeling independent, and maintaining their well-being. But with ageing comes inevitable changes, and sometimes those changes signal the need for additional support. Recognizing these signs early can help us step in with the right care and avoid more serious issues down the line. Here’s a guide to spotting the signs of decline in ageing parents and knowing when to step in.

1. Physical Health Concerns
One of the most noticeable signs of decline in ageing parents is a decline in their physical health. This can manifest in many ways:

• Unexplained Weight Loss or Gain: A sudden change in weight can indicate a health issue, such as digestive problems, depression, or even early-stage dementia.
• Poor Hygiene or Appearance: If your parent starts neglecting personal hygiene or their appearance, it could be a sign they’re struggling to care for themselves or facing mobility challenges.
• Frequent Falls or Difficulty Moving: Falls are a common concern for seniors. If your parent is experiencing balance issues or falling more often, it may be time to intervene.

Auntie Ramesh was always active in the garden and loved to cook. Lately, however, her daughter noticed that she had lost weight and had difficulty standing for long periods. Concerned, she took her to the doctor, where they found early signs of arthritis and suggested ways to help her maintain her independence with physical therapy and support.

2. Cognitive Decline
Cognitive decline doesn’t always mean dementia, but it can still affect your parent's ability to live independently. Look for signs like:

• Memory Loss: Forgetting familiar names, places, or appointments can be a red flag, especially if it’s happening frequently.
• Difficulty Managing Finances or Routine Tasks: If your parent starts struggling with everyday tasks like paying bills, managing medications, or cooking meals, it could signal cognitive issues.
• Confusion or Disorientation: Becoming confused in familiar surroundings or losing track of time can be a sign that something deeper is going on.

Uncle Ravi, a retiree who loved to travel and plan events, started showing signs of forgetfulness. He often left the stove on or forgot important appointments. His children noticed the changes and sought a doctor’s opinion, which led to early intervention and a plan for his care and mental stimulation.

3. Emotional and Mental Health Changes
Ageing parents often face emotional and mental health challenges. Depression and anxiety are common but can be harder to spot. Look out for:

• Withdrawal from Social Activities: If your parent starts isolating themselves from friends, family, or activities they once loved, it could be a sign of depression or anxiety.
• Mood Swings or Increased Irritability: Sudden changes in mood or irritability can also indicate emotional distress or even underlying health conditions.
• Increased Anxiety or Worrying: Seniors who experience anxiety may start to worry excessively about their health, finances, or future, which can affect their daily functioning.

After losing her husband, Auntie Neena became more withdrawn and stopped attending her weekly book club. Her family thought it was just grief, but when her mood didn’t improve, they helped her seek professional support. Through therapy and community engagement, she gradually began to regain her sense of joy and connection.

4. Changes in Behaviour or Personality
Ageing parents may experience shifts in their behaviour or personality, which could be a sign of mental or physical health issues. Watch for:

• Uncharacteristic Anger or Aggression: Seniors who have never been prone to anger might exhibit frustration or aggression when faced with challenges.
• Neglecting Responsibilities: When a parent suddenly neglects their usual responsibilities, such as paying bills or managing their daily routine, it could point to issues with memory, motivation, or health.
• Unusual Beliefs or Delusions: Sometimes, ageing parents may develop unusual beliefs or make statements that don’t align with reality. This could be a sign of cognitive decline, such as dementia.

Uncle Raj, a quiet and gentle man, started showing signs of aggression. He would yell at family members over minor things, something that was out of character for him. His family was concerned and consulted a neurologist, who found early stages of dementia. With early intervention and support, Uncle Raj was able to adjust to the changes in his life with the right care.

5. Lack of Self-Care
Seniors who are no longer able to care for themselves in the same way they used to may need help with:

• Meal Preparation: If they’re forgetting to eat or their meals have become more irregular, it could indicate cognitive or physical limitations.
• Medication Management: Missing doses or taking medications incorrectly is common in aging individuals, especially those with cognitive decline.
• Household Maintenance: Difficulty keeping up with cleaning, laundry, or other chores may signal that your parent is struggling with their physical or mental health.

Auntie Meena, always an excellent cook, started relying on frozen dinners and would sometimes forget to take her medication. Her daughter noticed these changes and set up a medication reminder system and meal prep service to ensure her mother’s well-being while maintaining her independence.

When to Step In

It can be difficult to know when to step in, but addressing these signs early can help ensure that your loved one receives the care and support they need. Some general guidelines include:

• Look for Patterns: If you notice a series of concerning changes over a few weeks or months, it’s time to act.
• Talk to Your Parent: If they’re able to have a conversation, ask them how they’re feeling. Many seniors may be hesitant to admit they need help, but gently addressing the issue can open up a meaningful dialogue.
• Consult a Professional: If you’re unsure whether your parent needs additional support, consult with their doctor. They can offer guidance on assessments, therapies, and possible interventions.

Conclusion

Recognizing the signs of decline in ageing parents is key to ensuring they receive the right support. By being aware of physical, emotional, and cognitive changes, you can intervene early and offer the care they need.

At Sukoon Unlimited, we offer a supportive community of Saarthis—seniors who have experienced similar challenges and can provide advice, empathy, and practical guidance. Our Sukoon Coaches and resources, including workshops and webinars, help you navigate the caregiving journey with confidence.

You’re not alone. Join Sukoon Unlimited today and access a caring, experienced community that’s here to support you and your loved ones every step of the way.